The Updated List of Things Millennials Are Killing in 2018

Napkins were just the first to go.

Every morning, I rise from my bed, set my feet on the cool hardwood floors of my rented apartment, descend the stairs, and seat myself upon my chaise lounge, inhaling the aroma of my freshly brewed coffee, sipping it slowly. I then prepare my morning sustenance -- without a napkin.

In between bites of avocado toast, I pause to stare out the window, listening to the birds sing the sweet song of morning, contemplating which industry I will kill today.

In 2017, the exploits of my generation and I were publicized at every turn, garnering widespread media attention. Like the Mongols, our ranks swell all over the world, dismantling empires, leaving the corpses of capitalist industries in our wake.

We had many notable conquests last year, as you may recall. But we've killed a lot in 2018 so far as well. One might expect the list to be basically the same, but no, it's actually entirely different. There is no industry safe from our murderous touch.

Although most of us don't know it, we are very accomplished as a generation.

Here is the updated list of everything millennials a killed in 2018.