Deep-dish pizza shall be served in place of communion wafers. Michael Jordan shall be declared the Greatest of All Time. And the Trevi Fountain shall be dyed green.

If internet memes became reality, Pope Leo XIV of Dolton, Ill., a southern suburb of Chicago, would turn Vatican City into Downtown Chicago, complete with a reflective kidney bean statue and carts serving ketchup-less hot dogs. Malört — Chicago’s unofficial liquor with a burning-tires aftertaste — would replace red wine as a symbol of the blood of Christ.

These and other whimsical suggestions started popping up on social media moments after Robert Francis Prevost’s Chicago roots came to light on Thursday.

“Canes nostros ipse comedit,” the marquee at Wieners Circle, a famous Chicago hot dog joint, joked in Latin. “He has eaten our dogs.”

Chicago drips with personality and has larger-than-life cultural figures and its fair share of corrupt politics, all of which are mixed with a touch of little-brother syndrome, making it a uniquely meme-able city. The food is polarizing, the history is stranger than fiction, and the traditions — like dyeing the river green on St. Patrick’s Day and playing softball without gloves — are somewhat bizarre.

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