Protect Betty at all costs. 

Everyone knows Betty White is a national treasure—and now fans are demanding that she be treated as such. 

Betty White is 99 years old and 3 months away from 100; please provide her with national security protection and wrap her safely in bubble wrap; we love her. pic.twitter.com/DYIEIVYUuu

— 💞🕊Heyoka 🕊💞 (@HeyokaEmpath01) October 13, 2021

Sure, the 99-year-old The Golden Girls star is in healthy shape—regularly running a mile a morning before the pandemic started—and she seems like she's approaching 100 in good humor. 

But what can a little (a lot of) bubble wrap and a federal-level security detail hurt? As the charmingly ribald and consistently inspiring actress, producer, comedian, author, and animal rights advocate nears a century of life well-lived, it seems like the least we could do as a nation is thank her by hiring multiple brawny bodyguards to circle around her at all times! 

Other things we could do to protect Betty and properly commemorate her big day:

Hire a poison taster just in case—only the best for Betty. 

Clone 100 Bettys in celebration of her 100 years! 

Change our nation's slogan to: "Ask not what Betty can do for you; ask what you can do for Betty." 

Make a buddy comedy about Betty and her new bodyguards getting into mischief around Hollywood. 

Discover the secret to eternal life so that Betty can live as long as she damn well pleases. 

Ask Betty what she wants for her birthday, I guess. 

Any other ideas for how to celebrate and protect Betty? That should be everyone in America's full-time job, so get thinking and drop your ideas in the comments!

Long Live Betty.