Nearly half of divorces in America are for serious issues.
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*Disclaimer: The following article may be triggering or hard to read for some. Please read with caution.
Abuse can happen anywhere, to anyone, at any time—this includes online spaces.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)
www.ndvh.org
A life-saving divorce is a divorce for serious reasons. It's the opposite of a frivolous divorce. It is not an "I'm bored" divorce, or an "I feel unfulfilled" divorce, or an "I miss the party life" divorce, or an "I'm just not that into you" divorce.
Nearly half of divorces in America are for serious issues: a pattern of adultery, sexual immorality, domestic violence, chronic emotional abuse, life-altering addictions, abandonment or severe neglect. I call these the Life-Saving Divorces.
What? Nearly half of divorces? That's not what I was told!
Hey, I hear you. If you're skeptical, I understand. I was shocked to discover this. I've attended church from the day I was born. I'm a devout Christian, brought up by loving committed Christian parents who have been married 60 years and counting. I worked in Christian organizations nearly all my adult life. No one ever told me this. In fact, my pastors and the Christian authors/websites I read always gave me the impression that 95% of divorces were for falling out of love. They told me most divorcees were people who were quitters and wanted to take the easy way out. They said divorcees were people who just didn't have the determination to go the distance like everyone else. They suggested that divorcees didn't believe in the sanctity of marriage and just told themselves "the grass is greener" if they could just find a different spouse.
But that "myth" began to die about 25 years ago I went through my own life-saving divorce. I wasn't looking for greener grass. I was desperate to get away from destruction, to distance myself (and my kids) from the turmoil of my ex's sexual addiction. I wasn't happy and optimistic about divorce. I wasn't looking forward to being single again. I was terrified. I started asking: "Why did this happen to me? How did a good committed Christian like me get into such a bad marriage? Are there other Christians who divorce for serious reasons? For goodness sake, I loved the Lord and read my Bible all the time! I had a Bible and Christian Education degree from Wheaton College and had done everything right when we were dating. I had read Elisabeth Elliot books over and over and was a big fan of Focus on the Family. I met a guy at church and we had followed every proper dating step.
