Because Virginia can't stop producing ridiculous news headlines, a woman was bitten by a venomous copperhead while eating at a Longhorn Steakhouse.

Virginians don't ask for a lot in life. We just want roads that can handle the traffic, enough time to spend with our families, and the ability to enjoy an affordable dinner at a budget steakhouse without being bitten by a copperhead. Those are the three main things that all Virginians want. But, it seems we can't always get what we want. At least that is true for one Virginia woman, Rachel Myrick, who was bitten multiple times by a venomous copperhead pit viper while at the Fredericksburg, Virginia, Longhorn Steakhouse.
"Initially it felt like I was stung by a bee or a hornet or something,” Myrick told a local television station. “I reached down and grabbed my foot because of the amount of pain and under my fingers felt it wiggle.”
As she shrieked in pain, Myrick's boyfriend and 13-year-old son proceeded to stomp the reptile to death. While waiting outside the steakhouse for an ambulance, the swelling expanded to her left thigh and hip. Once the ambulance arrived, Myrick told her dinner party to finish their meals before heading to the hospital, which probably would have been difficult to do in a restaurant with snakes slithering around. She was treated at Mary Washington Hospital with antivenin and now faces a three-month road to recovery. A representative for Longhorn Steakhouse said the snake attack was "unusual," in case anyone thought stocking the restaurants with venomous snakes was a part of Longhorn's franchise model. If I had to guess which budget steakhouse would be the first to experience a venomous snake bite, I would have certainly put my money on Outback Steakhouse. Multiple news outlets have reported that the Longhorn management decided to comp Myrick's party's meals. Is it just me, or does that not seem anywhere near enough? Managers typically comp meals when the food takes too long getting to the table or a server completely messes up an order. One would think that "receiving multiple venomous snake bites during dinner" should get Rachel Myrick a lot more than a couple free snakes.
Don't get me wrong, I don't like when diners try to pressure servers or managers into comping their meals. But we're not talking about a picky customer here. We're talking about a woman who was forced to go to the hospital and receive antivenin because a venomous snake attacked her at the table. You'd think that Longhorn Steakhouse would lead with explaining they have paid for her medical bills or ambulance transportation costs. But no, some genius manager decided to issue a press release that the meals had been comped, as if to expect some good publicity from doing the absolute bare minimum. Other news outlets were also quick to point out that Myrick was "wearing sandals" during the attack. I can understand criticizing someone for hiking through snake-infested land without shoes on. But when someone is trying to pick out what shoes to wear to dinner, a pair's snake-resistance shouldn't even be a question. The boyfriend and son certainly deserve a medal. They saw Rachel Myrick take a fang to the foot, and they sprung into action and stomped that little serpent to death. Myrick's boyfriend, Michael Clem, used to handle and breed reptiles 15 years ago. All that training made him ready to instinctively stomp the snake to death.  I love the internet commenters on other sites who said he should have caught the snake so it could be identified. Sorry, not going to happen. If there's a snake in my booth, it's going to die. Aw, who am I kidding. I love my wife dearly, but if our dinner got interrupted by a scene straight out of Snakes on a Plane, I can't promise that I wouldn't scream like a little girl and run for the exit. And I bet you that Samuel L. Jackson would do the same thing.

Read more: Government officials warned that snake bites would be up this year.