We've got the tips to shamble your way up 16th Street Mall with the deadest of them.
Zombies are having a moment, or actually, they’ve been having an era. And honestly, wandering around with a slack-jawed look and no particular purpose except finding food pretty much mimics most of my trips to the grocery store, so I’m a fan.
But, since becoming a zombie requires a fair amount of dying on our part, our next best option is pretending to be our living dead cousins for a day at Denver’s Annual Zombie Crawl on Oct. 6.
If you’ve been there, you know the drill. Face paint, torn clothes, yada, yada, yada. But if you are new, or just looking to up your grotesque game, here are some handy tips to make sure you stay strong with the zombie brand.
This event offers vendors and makeup booths to help you get your rot on. Just head over to the Skyline Park starting at 11 a.m. to have help going full corpse.
If you would rather do your own look, there are tons of tutorials out there to get you started.
Skulking in Style
What does the discerning zombie wear to THE event of the year? It’s really up to your personal “I just crawled out of the grave” style. You could go classic guy in a suit who graduated from just being a zombie at work to the real deal. Or teen in a prom dress more interested in the brains below that prom queen crown.
Or, why not go as a resurrected Teletubby? Possibly dress up the whole family as The Zimpsons (the undead Simpsons), including your baby, break out the stroller, and go for a nice Saturday plod about town. The coffin lid's the limit on how you choose to dress, but here are a few ideas if you are digging for a costume.
Good Burger in the house, serving up those juicy brains! Courtesy of Denver Zombie Crawl (Facebook).
Prop it Up
No weapons, fake or otherwise, are allowed at the event. Zombies don’t need that weaksauce anyway. Instead think of carrying or wearing a sign like “Vote Yes on Proposition Z: Zombies R people, 2.” You’ll be doing your civic duty and looking out for the rights of your fellow brain eaters.
If you’re a noob, you can’t go wrong with the old-school “Braaaiiinnnnsss” groan. It really never goes out of style. You will also want to work on your zombie limp and slack-faced, vacant look. Random moans, yells, grunts, and even casual conversation also work. I mean, sometimes you have to break character to tell your zombuddies that you need a potty stop.
'Til death do us part? Courtesy of Denver Zombie Crawl (Facebook).
Check out these imitation tips from looklikeazombie.com.
- Keep it loosey goosey. See #2.
- Stagger like a drunk person. This probably won’t be too hard for most people, since they may actually be drunk (drink responsibly and take an uber, my undead friends).
- Slump your shoulders. Just look down at your cell phone. That should do the trick.
- Don’t blink. You know how creepy kids stare at you sometimes without even blinking? Do that.
- React slowly. This is just solid life advice when you are in a frenzy.
- Don’t use all your limbs. Drag a leg, dangle an arm. Work it in a nothing-moves kind of way!
- No tongue! When talking, that is. You probably ate it 10 seconds out the grave, anyway.
- Tilt your head. Ever seen a zombie with perfect posture? Me neither.
- Pretend that you’re a starving animal. Existentially, aren't we all?
- Work with your costume and props. Use your props; don’t let your props use you, whatever that means.
- Be unique. Every zombie is a special snowflake.
- Study the pros. Even zombies need a mentor.
If all that seems too confusing, just do this thing Shaun-of-the-Dead style.
What would a zombie crawl be without the whole lurching pack doing the Thriller dance? It wouldn’t be a party at all. Luckily, you can shimmy your arms and legs off at 3:30 p.m., right before the crawl ends.
Then, dance until you drop at the two Stay Alive Block Parties under one roof after the event. You will need tickets to party until you wake the dead.
Here endeth the lesson. Get out there and best the best zombie you can be!
Will we see you downtown on Saturday? Let us know in the comments below.