You didn't mean to become an adult. It just kind of happened. Now there's a class for that.
If there's one thing I know about being an adult, it is this: mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
Unfortunately, that knowledge has served me zero function in the world of adult life. I know that mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. I know that we went to the moon in 1969. I can even tell you the difference between a simile and a metaphor. If you really want to be impressed, I'll solve your linear equation with my matrices, girl. But it wasn't till last year that I learned how to file my taxes. I'm pretty convinced I still don't know how to wash a Teflon pan correctly. And while we do have the internet -- and a disturbing surplus of factual knowledge -- the fact remains that most of us lack the basic skills of adult functioning.
So I'm taking an Adulting 101 class.
Yes, these are a thing. And they're in Virginia Beach now, too. On June 7, the first installment of Adulting 101 took place at Virginia Beach Public Library from 6 to 8 p.m. The course was totally free -- which is great, because millennials don't have any money. The two-hour course covered something extremely, hilariously basic: clothing yourself.
I entered the class feeling quite superior. I've been doing my own laundry since I was 9 years old. This always made me feel quite worldly among my peers. It is a very real fact that many of my friends are just now learning to do their own laundry. However, my feeling of superiority quickly shattered as I realized how many basic skills I do not actually know. You do actually have to separate your whites from your colors in the washing machine? And right, of course, that's how you sew a button. No, I am definitely not taking notes.
These classes aren't ridiculous. And they might be the punch line of Baby Boomers jokes about our generation. But whether you blame our parents, the school system, or really just our own general dysfunction as people, the fact remains that these classes exist because they are useful. And after observing a brief demonstration, trying a hands-on task, and leaving with an awesome project, I don't feel lame. I feel accomplished.
Because I could wax poetic on Feminist Theory in the 1960s for hours, or recite every multiplication table known to man, but for all my sum total, vast, sweeping, student loan debt-inducing knowledge, I could not sew a button. Now I can.
The next installment of Adulting 101 takes place on June 21, at 6 p.m. at MEO Central Library in Virginia Beach. The class will teach you basic cooking skills and budgeting. And you know what? I'm going. You probably should, too.
What adulting skill do you lack? What info is stored in your brain that you find most useless? We'd love to hear about it in the comments below!