Screen driving only.

Driving to work is one part of life that we don't wish was more like movies. Dealing with slow traffic, jams, and people who refuse to let you over is stressful enough without having to worry about alien invasions, international espionage, or Jim Carrey. 

On that note, here are five movie cars that we absolutely love, but for which we'd stay far away from the driver's seat! 

1964 Aston Martin DB5 (from Goldfinger)

Courtesy of Wikimedia

While James Bond didn't invent the spy car, he certainly refined it. A lot of spy car gadgets were made popular by 007's various bouts of vehicular violence. Perhaps no car is more iconic than the 1964 Aston Martin DB5 that James Bond has driven across numerous films including Goldfinger, Thunderball, Skyfall, and Spectre. 

As entertaining as it is to watch him spin out pursuers with remote-control smoke screens, this car would be dangerously impractical to commute in. You know that awkward moment where a car tries to take your parking spot as you're pulling out, trapping you inside? It's hard to imagine stuff like that getting any better with the additions of front-mounted machine guns or oil spills. 

While the revolving license plates might be handy for dodging red light cameras, the list of potential speeders with decked out spy cars can't be too thick for the police to comb through. The one potential saving grace of this car is the ejector seat, which is faster than grabbing the AUX cord whenever your passenger tries playing Nickelback. 

1984 Ford Econoline (from Dumb & Dumber)

Courtesy of New Line Cinema


In theory, this car has it all: It's adorable, it's spacious, and it seems to be a reliable-enough road trip companion for crossing the country with idiot friends. The car is easy to find in parking lots, and adorable enough that it'll hopefully get you some leeway on tickets. 

What's the drawback? One word: Weather.

Imagine driving through slush with a car like this. Imagine all the bugs that you'd have to comb out of its fur after spending too long on the open highway. Imagine having to blowdry it off after getting caught in heavy rainstorms to avoid your garage forever smelling like some ungodly hybrid of beast and machine.

No thanks. 


The Doof Wagon (from Mad Max)

Courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures

Although it's only on-screen for a couple of moments in Mad Max: Fury Road, the Doof Wagon has become an internet favorite for how fantastically ridiculous it is. Forget AUX cords, you can soundtrack all of your driving with the sweet music of a post-apocalyptic heavy metal band. Although the blind flamethrower-guitar player with a mask made of human skin is optional, this massive vehicle is sure to be the life of any block party or tailgate. 

What sounds less exciting though, is drive-throughs. Coordinating meal orders in a regular car is stressful enough. Something about drive-through menus seems to encourage everyone in the car to just start shouting orders over each other. Trying to figure out what a group of half-crazed War Boys want from Wendy's while they're busy slamming out drum solos sounds pretty miserable. 

1973 Ford Gran Torino (from The Big Lewbowski)

Courtesy of Universal Pictures

The Dude's signature car is a nice one. It's stylishly retro and a perfect vehicle for getting to bowling games while listening to some Creedence. 

What isn't nice, however, is the sheer misfortune that this car seems to invite. It doesn't matter how nice a ride is: having your car get stolen, smashed up, and lit on fire by angry nihilists all sounds pretty miserable. 

And don't count on being able to use the tape deck. 

Lightning McQueen

Courtesy of Wikimedia

On one hand, Lightning McQueen is established to be an incredibly fast and smooth car that gets highly efficient gas mileage. He even has enough torque in his tiny car chassis to pull a massive asphalt machine. He's witty, charming, and even voiced by Owen Wilson!

On the other hand, sitting in Lightning McQueen's passenger seat immediately raises all sorts of existential questions. We'd rather just skip the uncomfortable discussion about free will and stick to driving our regular cars.

Can you think of any cars that look cool, but you'd rather not drive? Let us know in the comments!