Smells like existential dread!

What do weird teachers, vegans, and social anxiety have in common? Admittedly not much, but a novelty company makes candles and soaps that smell like them—and more!

Whiskey River Soap Co. makes snarky products for cynics and cynics-at-heart. Their playful range of candles, soap, and bath bombs have hilarious names and equally-funny descriptions that will have you rolling (take a look at their reviews). More absurdist than doom and gloom, they're the perfect pick-me-up for a bad day and make great gifts for those hard-to-shop-for family members.


As far as their candles go, let's just say these aren't your mother's Yankee Candle. Instead of apple blossom or pine tree, you'll find scents related to everything under the sun like hipsters, Thirsty Thursday, and internet trolls. There's even a candle for Karens, which "smells like a can of hairspray and a 911 trigger finger" while the Birthday Blues candle "smells like every birthday after 21." Any cat people in our midst? You get a candle that "smells like purring (and a fresh hairball under your bare foot).

All their candles are hand-poured and made of soy wax, with a 60-hour burn time designed for stewing in existential dread to a topic of your choice. As an added bonus, they contain "0% bullsh*t," which means you know you're getting a quality item.


Because it's 2020, there's also a special pandemic section, touching on everything from essential workers to unnecessary zoom calls. Don't even get us started on the Tiger King soap, which reportedly "smells like meth."

In addition to candles and soap, their shop sells a fun assortment of goodies including office accessories, puzzles, mugs, and more. Something to keep in mind for your next Secret Santa or White Elephant gift swap!


Let's face it—this year has been a real doozy, and if you're looking to lean into your misanthropic tendencies, you might as well do it with some self-care.

Whiskey River Soap Co. items can be found on their website, as well as through Amazon, Box Lunch, and indie retailers nationwide. You can find your nearest location here.

**All photos courtesy of Whiskey River Soap Co.

What do you think of Whiskey River Soap Co.'s products? Have a candle or bath bomb on your wish list? Let us know in the comments!