Petty theft. Juice cleanses. Urban studies and DDOS attack. It's 36 hobbies that are better than boys.

Tired of dating? Don't waste your time. Here are 36 hobbies that are better than boys.

Maps

Christopher Conn

Know where you're going, unlike with that relationship.

Commercial Airline Pilotry

Envato Elements/vlad_star

An underrated task.

19th Century American History

Irish Times

One of the most fascinating eras, and one rich with dimension, unlike all the dudes you meet.

Urban Studies

The Ascent

What's in a city? Sketchy people, or alternatively, advanced feats of civil engineering.

Trains

Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe

They are actually going places. That's kind of their whole thing.

Filing Lawsuits

Taylor Callery/National Law Journal

Because people are legally required to listen to you.

Big Oil

Sarah Grillo/Axios

I hear it really gives you an up in the power dynamic.

Aquascaping

Hanna Instruments

Craft the world of your dreams, populated by fish and algae-consuming swim-lizard creatures, which are better than humans and do not talk back.

Swords

Comicbook.com

You are the king of the castle.

Sea Monkeys

Instant Life

They're smart. They're loyal. You're gonna buy them a house. You're gonna buy their momma a house. They appreciate you.

Dumpster Diving

Seven Days Vermont

That's kind of what you're doing anyway sifting through the dregs of our tragic demographic.

Donating Blood Plasma

Fix.com

Give up your lifeblood, but to someone who actually deserves it.

Cetacean Consciousness

Dolphins are way smarter than humans.

Higher Education

Joanna Neborsky/Teen Vogue

JSTOR is the boyfriend you wish you had.

French Cinema

Jeune Femme/Bologna Agenda Cultura

The nuance is a refreshing change. And it's kind of galvanizing how they don't actually say what they mean.

Ships in a Bottle

Dr. Don Friedman

They are never going anywhere, a lot like this relationship.

Tetris

Unsplash

All problems are solvable. Also, soothing as hell.

Being a Young Go-Getter in the City of New York

Maridav/Shutterstock

Buy a short skirt and a long jacket and maybe a car that will get you there.

Geometry

Pxhere

A plane is a flat, two-dimensional surface that extends infinitely far.

Chia Pets

Surreal Entertainment/Amazon

They are cute little guys with hair, and their hair is a plant. Amazing. And practical.

Astral Projection

Lia Kantrowitz/Vice

Actually transcend your body.

Breadmaking

Tulsa City County Library

Experience olfactory pleasure in the home. Bask in the sweet aroma of your accomplishments.

Geocaching

VeryWell Family

Discover mysterious worlds in the places you go every day. A lot like people, but inanimate, which can be peaceful sometimes.

Baroquecore

Youtube/AManicHella

Monks + metal = catharsis.

Cave Diving

Scuba Diving Life

Get lost in the dark. Stalactites. Wear a lamp on your head.

Petty Theft

Stroud News and Journal UK

Get petty, in the legal sense.

DDOS Attacks

Sebastien Thibault/Nature

Overwhelm a website with traffic in a metaphor for your emotions.

Anamorphosis

Felice Varini

Art that only makes sense from a certain angle, much like your past decisions.

Reptiles

Raul Prada Alcoreza

They don't say much, they don't eat a lot of food, and they tend to stick around a long time.

Composting

Composting News

It's time to make something from your trash.

Javascript

Megapixl

It's like logic + poetry that's also a secret code, and once you are fluent, you have powers.

Juice Cleanses

Suja Juice

These are a total scam. Still more worth it than your love life.

Slam Poetry

Savannah Blue/365 Things to Do in Houston

Just yell things.

The Alphabet

Pxhere

The puzzle-piece code of idea transmission. Pretty cool, 10/10.

Noodles

Janet Lee/Chicago Portfolio School/Packaging of the World

Never let you down.

Crime

Shutterstock/1234F Stock Photos

If all else fails.

Did we miss anything? If you've got a source of inspiration far more fulfilling than modern relationships, let us know in the comments below. And next time you're tempted to go on a date or engage with other humans socially in any way, consider petty theft or climbing in a dumpster. Because you're worth it.