Are you confused when your girlfriend says one thing, but really means something else? Here’s a helpful cheat sheet to get you through communication.
For all of the men out there, you’re welcome. If only you could understand our so-called “confusing” brains, life would be so much easier and massive fights would be put to an end right away. Well, I have decoded the female language into graphics to make it easier. Pay attention, and take notes on female communication! Your girlfriend will thank me later. 
I know what you’re thinking. Yes, women are really not as complicated as you think. You see, each meaning is just the exact opposite of what she says. Therefore, just keep in mind when she says something, and then think the exact opposite. You must beware, though, because this is extremely context based. For instance, if you ask her what she wants for her birthday and she tells you, do not think you’re sly and get the opposite of what she said, because most likely she meant it. If she replies with “I don’t care” you can probably guess that she does in fact care. You should know by now what your girlfriend/fiance/wife/etc loves. If not, women always love jewelry. That should help you.
One thing you should always be aware of is the “WOW” phrase. Surprisingly, we are not amazed by your ability to chug beer out of a 30-foot funnel. Your buddy might be, but we’re not. If you get a WOW it usually means “wow, you’re that stupid?”.
Gentlemen, I ask that you take this helpful information and keep it on file. Next time you’re in a fight, or you’re unsure of what she means, reference my helpful communication guide. Again, you’re welcome.
