This past week, Ocean City Police had their hands full with cases of indecent exposure as people somehow became convinced that the world was their bathroom.

Ocean City can be a wonderful place during the summertime. Visitors of all walks of life descend on the small ocean town for fun in the sun with family and friends. There are a lot of things that we usually assume should go without saying. Don't get drunk at a bar and start pointing a gun at people, for example. Well, sometimes there are just common sense things that need to be said anyway. Stop exposing yourself and peeing in public. Just... stop. You are never more than a hundred yards away from a bathroom in Ocean City or you can just wade into the water and pee there, like a normal tourist. Please, don't expose yourself and pee in public. [End Public Service Announcement] Unfortunately, some people can't grasp that fundamental part of living in a civilized society and they all seem to want to visit Ocean City...

Very Indecent Exposure

Police were called to the CVS at 120th Street after multiple concerned citizens called 911 to report a naked man. Upon arrival, police did in fact find... a half-naked man. Police discovered Patrick Lehman, age 20, of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, standing in front of a car wearing nothing but a jersey. Officers report that Lehman's genitals were clearly exposed. Not surprisingly, he exhibited clear signs of intoxication. One witness described how the "encounter" originally went down. The intoxicated man stopped in front of her car. With children in the vehicle, Lehman allegedly removed his basketball jersey and struck a pose in front of the car, naked as the day he was born. Police arrested Patrick Lehman on the spot for indecent exposure. Another witness later approached police and testified that he first came across the naked man on the beach. Afraid for his family, he was forced to evacuate them from the beach. Again, this should go without saying, please don't expose your genitalia to children. While Patrick Lehman may take the gold for the grossest Ocean City crimes of the week, a few other people tried to give him a run for his money.

Bus Stop? More Like Piss Stop.

Police were called to the 71st Street Municipal Bus Stop after calls came in about a man exposing him self and urinating on the sidewalk. Officers arrived at the scene to find a man named Jake Perry, age 25, of Thorofare, New Jersey, matching the description in the 911 calls. Upon the officers' arrival, they spoke with two Public Safety Aides who described what happen. They told officers that they stumbled upon Perry laying on the ground. Perry quickly stood up, exposed his member to them, and began urinating on the concrete path. Witnesses told police that Perry not only exposed himself to them, but also to vehicular traffic passing by. Based upon this information, Ocean City Police arrested Jake Perry on charges of indecent exposure. One more time: Please, if you are going to visit Ocean City, don't expose yourself and pee on our bus stops.

One Beachgoer's Ballsy Strategy

The beach can be a wonderful place. Crowded at times, but still fun. When the sun goes down, most people pack up their belongings and head home. Not Jason Derman. The 45-year-old man from Baltimore was discovered on the beach at 1st Street by a Worcester County Sheriff’s deputy on ATV patrol. Allegedly, after the deputy came upon the man, he turned towards the ATV, pulled down his bathing suit, exposed his genitals, and began to urinate on the beach. The police report details that Derman made no effort to shield his crotch from passersby. Witnesses told officers they feared the man was disturbed and deliberately kept their distance from him. Police arrested Jason Derman on the spot on charges of indecent exposure.
Many families make their yearly pilgrimage to Ocean City during the summertime. Why? Because there are attractions and things to do for people of all ages. But we all can agree that there is absolutely nothing attractive about piss-drunk tourists getting naked and exposing themselves in public. So, what is the morale of these stories? While it may be legal to go topless on the Ocean City beach, but please, for the love of God, don't try to go bottomless...

If you want to escape the madness of downtown Ocean City, head to Assateague Island and use their new smartphone app to learn about the wild horses!