We are all Coloradoans in the end. Except for fans of the other team.

This Friday, August 31, the best college football team in Colorado will take on those imposters from across the way. Of course, the (UNIVERSITY OF COLORADO GOOOOOLDEN BUFFALOES/COLORADO STATE RAMS) are destined to win, but we do not want to compound the opposing fans' misery. They did go to a (bastion of hipsterdom/cow college), after all. In any case, the game is sure to be entertaining.

Not the football. The football has about a 50 percent chance of being entertaining. It's virtually assured the (Fluffaloes/Lambchops) are going to roll over and play dead, as usual. The fans, however, have a 100 percent chance of being entertaining. The ROCKY MOUNTAIN SHOWDOWN has the highest number of 19-year-olds puking out Burnett's vodka between parked cars of any football game you will see in Colorado all season.

We once saw a man sitting in the upper deck of Mile High Stadium TAKE OFF BOTH HIS SHOES AND THROW THEM INTO THE LOWER BOWL, FOR NO APPARENT REASON. We guess he just didn't want to wear shoes anymore ... He was escorted from the premises by some policemen.

This game will have the least amount of fans in attendance for any game at Mile High this season, but the most dried puke left in the stands after.

Anyway, the game. THE GAME.

Even if you are fervently (FIGHTING CU DOWN THE FIELD/PROUD TO BE A CSU RAM), try to show those (elitists/peasants) some common courtesy we do all live in the same state, after all, except for (every CU fan, who lives in California or Texas/every CSU fan, who lives in a hole in the ground).

Just love each other. After all, (those bougie idiots who love the smell of their own farts/those slack-jawed yokels sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, wearing a straw hat and spitting into a spittoon) aren't the real problem here.

Nebraska is.

P.S. Never forget, GO BUFFS!

(Editor's Note: GO RAMS!)

Next time you're at Mile High, try the new Thunder Dog. You won't regret it.