"For me, on days like Mother’s Day, I longed for the past. I’d linger over the special memories from when my daughter was little and wanted to cuddle in my lap."

If your son or daughter struggles with addiction, mental illness, self-injury, an eating disorder, suicidal thoughts, is incarcerated, or has other issues, then Mother’s Day is going to be difficult. It will hurt. A lot.

If this is your journey, then this is for you.

Moms like you don’t look forward to Mother’s Day. I know. I’ve been in that place. It brings increased sadness. Heavier heartache. You’d rather skip the day. You know you probably won’t hear from them, much less get a card.

You won’t see their smiling face greet you with affection, hand-made cards, or thoughtful gifts like when they were young. They’re too self-focused and oblivious for such loving gestures now. They may not even know it’s Mother’s Day. They’re clueless.

Where does that leave you? Set up for a lot of hurt and pain, anger and resentment.

For me, on days like Mother’s Day, I longed for the past. I’d linger over the special memories from when my daughter was little and wanted to cuddle in my lap. She adored me back then. Can you remember that time?

But those days are over for you. That’s the past and you can’t go back. You’re in a new place on your parenting journey – a place of grief and loss; of shattered dreams; of letting go.  A place of change.

Wounds have been inflicted. Repeatedly. Deep disappointment has become the norm.

How did we get here, to this place of not wanting to face Mother’s Day, a day once full of love and fun and laughter?

Can’t we pray it all away? I tried to, but it didn’t work. The hurt hung on like an old band-aid that refused to come off, stubbornly clinging to my skin. It’s hard to let go.

Is there anyone who can make it better? Lessen our pain or alleviate it altogether? My heart hoped so, but I wasn’t sure ...

Read the full post by Tom and Dena Yohe on the Hope for Hurting Parents blog

Hope for Hurting Parents provides "resources for parents hurting over destructive behaviors or choices of their teen to adult children."
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