We sat down with a wedding officiant to learn about what it's like to be a gatekeeper to holy matrimony.

A lot goes into pulling off a wedding, and it seems like the one person who permits a couple to go from engaged to married is left on the sidelines. Of course, the couple should take center stage at a wedding, but an officiant plays the most meaningful role at a ceremony in terms of allowing the marriage to actually take place. We got a chance to visit with Clinton Anderson of Weddings With Clint who performs weddings for Colorado couples and learned a few interesting tidbits about what it's like to be a wedding officiant. 

OCN: How long have you been an officiant and what made you want to become one?

Clinton Anderson: Let’s see, I jumped into the officiant game over three years ago. Up until that point, I had gone to the weddings of several friends and, as great as they were, their ceremonies weren’t. The ceremonies weren’t really focused on the couple and felt just like a "checkbox". I was part of that group who just wanted to get it over with so we could get to the drinking and the partying. As I thought about it, though, I realized there had to be a better way and so, after realizing I could be an officiant here in Colorado, I jumped in and haven’t looked back! I tell my couples that during the day, I’m planning for people's worst day—I’m an emergency manager for a hospital—but at night, I’m planning for people's best day. It’s essentially a yin-yang type of relationship. 

OCN: What’s the most memorable wedding you’ve ever officiated?

Anderson: Easy, Sara and Joe! They were a couple who had been waiting their entire lives for each other—and when it came to the wedding, they were going to incorporate their own character into it—and boy, did they ever! I had the privilege of wearing a religious figure Halloween costume and combat boots. When it was time for the bride to walk down the aisle and her music came on, she was nowhere to be found. So the groom turns to me and starts saying things like, “What’s going on?”, “Where is she”, etc. I kept reassuring him that everything was going to be okay. Now, mind you, this is planned. I was mic’ed so everybody could hear our conversation and his distress. Finally, he said, “I’ve got one thing I can try!” I told him, “Yeah, man, give it a shot”. So he goes behind a tree, pulls out a boombox, and holds it high into the air. At that point, the music is interrupted with a line from Deadpool, “I swear to God, I'm gonna find you in the next life, and I'm gonna boombox Careless Whisper outside your window. Wham!" The music then switched over to, you guessed it, Careless Whisper, and she came walking down the aisle! So they get up there, and I start out the whole wedding by doing the "Mawwiage" bit from The Princess Bride.

Now, we get serious along the way, and it comes time for vows. He read his first, which was amazing! Then it was her turn. She took her vows, took a big, slow, long breath in, and then says … "Ditto." It was all about the delivery—and it was epic! Had the whole place rolling. Then, it came time for the rings. I said, “Forged, in this land before time”, and talked about the rings as the theme song from Jurassic Park started crescendoing in. Finally, two grown adults in T-Rex blow-up costumes come walking down the aisle with the rings in their hands. You should’ve seen the kids' faces—it was incredible!

Now, I know what a lot of people are thinking—this doesn’t sound the least bit serious—but you’d be wrong. This couple brought their love of movies and their personalities into the ceremony. We were able to have those fun, outrageous moments, but still maintain the seriousness of what we were there doing. You really can have fun at a wedding without it being completely boring. You just have to not be afraid of what others will think—after all, this is YOUR day.

OCN: What’s the most rewarding part of being a wedding officiant?

Anderson: I hate doing weddings to check a box. I want to get to know the couple, and that, by far, is the most rewarding part. Being able to stand up there and talk to the couple about marriage but, at the same time, making it engaging and fun and something worth remembering. Every couple is different and so each ceremony is different and all of that adds up to something incredible. 

OCN: Have you ever officiated a wedding where you thought the couple was completely wrong for one another?

Anderson: Well, I try not to think that way. In a world full of hate, it’s like people are always looking for the worst in others. So, I can’t say that I’ve ever thought they were completely wrong for one another. That said, I have had some awkward moments. In one instance, the couple had not seen each other before the wedding. I met up with them individually and they seemed great! Now, during my ceremony, the couples hold hands and face each other and they did NOT look at each other, once. Like, not one time. It was so obvious that I noticed it pretty much right away. It’s easy to say, “Oh, these two aren’t going to make it,” but they could have just been the awkward type and didn’t know how to do that comfortably when everybody else is looking at them. Who knows. 

OCN: How has COVID-19 altered usual officiating duties?

Anderson: Not a ton. I can maintain a good distance from my couples to keep us all safe without it feeling like I’m too far away. The biggest impact has been wedding venues making up the craziest, stupidest rules. For instance, one wedding venue was going to require a big plexiglass wall between the couple and me unless we were “friends”. What does that even mean? And COVID doesn’t care if we’re friends or not. So, we told them we were friends so we didn’t have to ruin their day with plexiglass that, spoiler alert, germs can float around. Now, I work with COVID patients, I’m on a disaster medical team that has worked with COVID patients. I’ve traveled the country doing this work; I feel like I know COVID pretty well, compared to your average Joe. So when I see people trying to implement these rules that actually make no sense and cause unnecessary stress to the couple, it frustrates me. 

OCN: What’s the best wedding advice you have to offer?

Anderson: Oh, man. There are SO many things I want to write about. Okay, I’ll just pick two:

1) You do you. This is not your parents' wedding day. This is not your friends' wedding day. This is not your coordinator's wedding day. This is YOUR wedding day. You only get one good shot at it, so do what you want to do. Listen to guidance and reason, but you do you.

2) The planning process is stressful. Everybody has an opinion and the coordination aspect of it can be overbearing. So, just know that up until you’re walking down the aisle (yes, this means even on the morning of your wedding) things are probably going to be stressful. But, I assure you, once you start walking down the aisle, all of that stress will be worth it. So expect it, embrace it, recognize it’s part of the journey, and know that it will not be like that once things start. 

Are you a wedding officiant that has a story to tell? Sound off in the comments!