Nothing like seeing old advertisements to make you glad you live in 2020.

The funny thing about nostalgia is that it has the tendency to cover up how less-than-stellar the past actually was. Whenever I hear someone say how great the "good 'ol days" were and they're referring to the 1950s, I shrug my shoulders and picture myself saddled with three kids by 23, no education, and little agency over my own body or livelihood. Social and gender politics aside, I'll let vintage cars get a pass just for aesthetics. Their advertising, on the other hand, leaves little to be desired ...

Like this Ford Pinto ad. 

vintage ford pinto ad

Yes, put something under your tree that becomes a fireball on wheels in the event of a rear-end collision.

And wives! Always wrecking cars, amirite?

vintage volkswagen ad

Yes, Volkswagen, we soft and gentlewomen hit things, often because somebody left the toilet seat up too many times. 

Oh, Honda ...

honda coupe ad

Nothing says "chick magnet" like a car that brags about its cheapness. The last four sentences of the ad copy are the cherry on top: "Oh it doesn't have automatic transmission, air conditioning, and a 400-horsepower engine. But which would you rather have? Automatic transmission, air conditioning, and a 400-horsepower engine? Or Michelle and Tammy and Alison?"   🤦‍♀️ 

This ad screams, "We're not CHILD-LESS, we're CHILD-FREE, KAREN!"

volkswagen beetle vintage ad

Woah, woah, woah, gauging a car's ride based on whether or not it detonates a BOMB?! How did ANYONE survive the 70s?!

vintage ford ad

I may love the look of older cars, but as for their advertising, that's best kept in the past.